My life is an unwieldy mess. I always have more emails in my inbox than I can respond to in a day and more things on my work and personal to-do list than I will ever get to in a week. It is usually okay; we all manage; that’s life.
But every so often, I have one thing on that list that I just can’t force myself to get done. You know what I mean, right? The thing that you think about when your head hits the pillow at night, and you know you are making it so much worse the longer you put it off?
For me, it’s usually anything to do with self-care. For you, maybe it is a phone call you need to make, a conversation you need to have, an email you need to respond to, a medical appointment you need to attend, or whatever else.
Taking a wild guess here, but you probably thought of one specific thing on your to-do list while reading that last paragraph?
When we put off or ignore a situation or task to our detriment because completing it would force us to confront our fears or make us feel uncomfortable, this avoidance (or procrastination) is what Psychologists call: “Self-sabotage”.
Self-sabotage is particularly dangerous to our goals because it’s self-reinforcing. By putting off tasks we do not want to do, we experience temporary relief at the thought of not having to do them, so the cycle continues.
The bad news is that there’s no silver bullet to break the cycle, but one way or another, you are going to have to front up to that thing you have been avoiding.
The good news is that when you cross that nasty to-do off your list, you are going to feel a sense of relief and satisfaction that is far greater than when you tick off the stuff you don’t mind doing. The best thing you can do right now is practice some self-care (I know better than anybody; this is easier said than done): Don’t beat yourself up for putting it off for so long. That’s already happened, so let’s just move forward. Get it done today and set things right with ourselves!